Table 1 Skills Taught in the How-to Parenting Program
Session/Chapter title | Skills | Examples | |
|---|---|---|---|
Session 1/ Chapter 1 | Helping children deal with their feelings | - Listen to him/her with full attention; | Look at the child when s/he speaks. |
- Acknowledge with a word, and/or a sound; | “Oh…”; “Hm” | ||
- Try to name the child’s feeling; | “That can feel scary” | ||
- Give him/her what s/he desires in fantasy. | “I wish I could make a snack appear for you right now” | ||
Session 2/ Chapter 2 | Engaging cooperation | - Describe what the problem is; | “There are boots in the middle of the hallway” |
- Provide some more information; | “It’s hard to walk when boots are blocking the way and wetting the floor” | ||
- Remind the child with just one word; | “Kids, the boots” | ||
- Express your own feelings without attacking the child’s character; | “I feel irritated when I come back home and can’t walk in the hallway” | ||
- Write a note. | “Please bring us back on our rack” (signed: your boots) | ||
Session 3/ Chapter 3 | Alternatives to punishments | - Express own feelings without attacking the child’s character; | “I don’t like to see food residues on the couch” |
- State your expectation; | “I expect eating to take place in the kitchen” | ||
- Show him/her how to make amends; | “This couch needs to be cleaned. Here’s a wet sponge with some soap on it” | ||
- Give him/her two options; | “You can either eat your snack in the kitchen before watching TV or watch TV without a snack” | ||
- Take action if needed; | After giving options (see above), take away the snack. | ||
- Problem-solve with child. | Acknowledge child’s feelings; Express yours; Brainstorm (write child’s ideas and your own); Select one idea, Plan and implement it. | ||
Session 4/ Chapter 4 | Encouraging autonomy | - Let him/her decide; | “Do you want the blue or the red shirt?” |
- Respect the child’s struggle; | “Pouring milk in a glass can be tricky, sometimes it helps to use a wide glass” | ||
- Limit the number of your questions; | Let child talk about his/her day when s/he wants to. | ||
- Don’t rush to answer his/her questions; | “Interesting, why do you think kids lose their teeth?” | ||
- Promote some outside resources; | “I wonder what the dentist would say” | ||
- Don’t take away the child’s hope. | “An astronaut! What an interesting career.” | ||
Session 5/ Chapter 5 | Descriptive praise | - Describe the child’s behavior or accomplishment; | “I see toys on their shelf” |
- Describe own feelings; | “It feels good to sit on the couch easily” | ||
- Summarize the child’s behavior with a noun. | “That’s what I call organization” | ||
Session 6/ Chapter 6 | Freeing children from playing roles | Example: the “sore loser” | |
- Notice counter role behavior from the child; | “You shook the winner’s hand” | ||
- Provide him/her with counter role opportunities; | “Let’s play a game of …” | ||
- Let the child overhear positive comments; | “Suzie congratulated me when…” | ||
- Model appropriate behavior; | “Congratulations for winning this game!” | ||
- Recall one of the child’s counter role behavior in the past; | “I remember when you congratulated me for winning at …” | ||
- If s/he reverts to an old role, state your feeling and expectation. | “I expect you to congratulate the winner after a match” | ||
Session 7 | Integration | Open, guided discussion; Activity about managing typical parent-child interactions by integrating various skills; Description of participants’ accomplishments in learning skills. | |